


boys can’t love boys

by fucktherich



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, Fluff, Gay Idiots in Love, M/M, Maybe a little angst, Poetry, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28971801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fucktherich/pseuds/fucktherich
Summary: in which charlie comes out as bisexual during one of the meetings and todd asks him to stay behind due to some confusion
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	boys can’t love boys

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote the poem in this myself but i genuinely suck at writing so don’t expect it to be any good

it was a usual night for the group of boys. they we're sitting in the cave, a small fire in the middle of them and quick banter flowing through the air.

charlie stood up very suddenly, making his way to the back of the cave with a piece of paper gripped in his hand as if his life depended on it.

closing his eyes he took a deep breath. everyone around him was extremely intrigued. charlie had never seemed this scared in his life.

"i wrote a poem. it really bad but it means a lot to me so please listen and if at the end of it you don't have anything nice to say just keep quiet alright?"

the other boys, now confused, nodded as a sign for charlie to move on and read from the paper he had in his hands.

"when your father caught us  
he didn't scream at you  
not until later he screamed  
"you know that's taboo"

i never understood it  
why what i felt was wrong  
why people seemed to stare at me  
if i stared at you for to long

i never understood it  
why people seemed to care  
i mean as long as i was happy  
why were they in my hair?

i wish i could love you  
i really, really do  
but people don't like that  
because boys can't love boys  
the way girls do"

he kept his eyes on the paper, to scared to look up. scared that if he did he'd see disgusted faces or even worse one of the boys standing up to punch him. that wasn't the case though. all of them just sat there smiling at him reassuringly. 

well all besides todd anderson. no he wasn't looking at charlie with pure hatred in his eyes he was just still very confused. he didn't know other people felt the way he did. he didn't know there's other boys that liked boys. especially at dalton.

he was shook out of his trance when neil stood up and engulfed charlie in the tightest, most uncomfortable looking hug one could imagine. even after a minute he refused to let go, still whispering things like "i'm so proud of you" and "just know that i'll always love you" into his ear. it was a very sensual yet obviously platonic interaction.

after another minute of hugging neil let go and wiped the tears off of his face. when he saw the other boys looking at him weirdly he was quick to defend himself. saying he was just a very emotional person.

↬•↫

all of the boys slowly started to swarm out of the cave when todd grabbed charlie's arm telling him to wait for a second. he called after neil, telling him he'd come to their room in a little and turned back to charlie with "i'm terrified" written over his face.

he walked back into the cave and sat down patting the spot next to him. when charlie followed and sat down as well todd finally began to speak.

"how did you know you......i mean, how did you realize you....liked boys?"

charlie chuckled at that. "so that's what this is about? you think you like boys as well?"

neil shook his head way to fast for his own good. "no no i'm just wondering"

charlie quirked an eyebrow at him "and you couldn't have wondered in front of the others?"

todd stood up at that. "no i'm sorry i know it's stupid. you can just go back to your room now"

before todd could leave charlie grabbed his hand and told him to sit down again. and that todd did.

"i realized i liked guys about a year after i started liking girls. i just one day noticed that i didn't look at boys any differently than how i looked at girls. i mean for me it just doesn't matter what you are you know? if you're cool you're cool and that's all there is to it"

todd nodded along, opening his mouth to say something but quickly closing it again as if he'd realized what he was going to say was stupid.

"please todd you can talk to me. just tell me what's on your mind okay?"

he took a deep breath before muttering something under his breath.

"what was that?"

" i think i like neil"

charlie smiled at him and slung his arm around the other boys shoulder. "well that's great isn't it? you should tell him."

todd looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his skull at any moment. "i can't do that. no way can i do that. he doesn't even like boys"

laughing. just pure laughing is what came out of charlie's mouth. "neil doesn't like boys? who told you that nonsense? he's like the gayes person i know"

"neil's gay?"

"well yeah. all of the dead poets know we just kind of assumed you did too"

todd shook his head, still in shock from finding out that there's a chance his crush might actually be into him.

"so i should talk to neil?"

"so you should talk to neil"

↬•↫

as soon a todd arrived back to his room that's exactly what he did. he sat down on neils bed, crossed his legs and spoke.

"you never told me you're gay"

neil sits up at that. "well i kind of assumed you already knew. the boys joke about it all of the time....todd what did you think the reason was that my father hates me?"

"i just assumed it was because of the acting"

"well it's partly that but my father surely wouldn't have minded the acting if i was straight. not to the extend he does now"

"i think i'm gay too"

the words came out of todd's mouth much faster than his brain could process. 

"i'm sorry i don't know why i said that...." 

neil grabbed todd's hand and started drawing little shaped on it with his thumb.

"thanks for sharing that with me. it was a very brave thing to do"

todd couldn't take his eyes off of neil in that moments. the moonlight that shone through the window onto neil's face, the way neil's face was filled with pure admiration for the boy in front of him. all of it was just perfect.

they sat like that for another minute. just staring at each other, holding the other boy's hand. they hadn't even noticed that they were leaning forward until they were only two centimeters from each other.

there was a thick tension in the air but it was comfortable tension. todd could see neil's eyes move down to his lips and back up at his eyes and so todd did the same, signaling neil that whatever it was that was happening was mutual.

as they moved closer their heartbeats got louder and the more detailed the other boy's face got. that was until their lips met and their eyes were embraced by darkness. 

neil's hands found their way onto todd's face while todd just sat there slowly caressing the other boy's waist. it was like a dream come true.

the sunlight illuminated the both of them while their hands found their way around each other's bodies, neither boy willing to stop. but everything must come to an end at some point. especially if you run out of air while doing it. 

they were gripping onto each other like their life depended on it, one forehead touching the other and the only sound that could be heard was the heavy breathing and the fast heart beats coming from them. 

maybe boys could love other boys after all.


End file.
